Stories of Almost Everything
Stories
of Almost Everything
~ M. A. ZII MILLER ~
. . . o x o x o x o . . .
As you may notice above this text, there is an aesthetically pleasing landscape photo with a car appealing
to the rule of thirds in that image.
That is my car, a 2004
Toyota Corolla. It was a hand-me-down from my paternal step-aunt, who would
take it for long car rides with her three giant dogs.
Everyone in my family has a
light car, my *auntcle’s car? White. Brothers car? Silver. Mother’s car? Cream.
Step-fathers? Also white. Even my aunts new car, is white.
As you can see however, my car is a very dark blue, and
what could that mean in our lovely Floridian weather?
That it gets hot. Like, really hot - inside &
out.
I’ve had this car for over
six years now – and on hot days (which is practically all of them, thank you Florida) the
interior still smells as if someone was hoarding kilos of raw sheepskin in the
trunk. You have to be out of your mind to tolerate even a moment in this
Corolla, yet somehow it’s still mine. I dare not consider doing Uber.
The condition
of the car is both good and quite poor. This Corolla is now old enough to have
its own drivers license, and surprisingly, has not had any mechanical failures
under my ownership. Although, I haven’t changed the oil since 2015.
The paint is
peeling, all my bumper stickers have faded to be completely blank, the front
right hubcap is missing, and the engine light is always on. The flamboyant rainbow steering wheel cover nearly succeeds to distract from these details.
This could be partially due
to the fact that I crashed this car head on into a pole within 30 minutes of
passing the test for my drivers license. My mother whom was in the passenger’s seat, scolded me for driving using both feet, and forced me to use only my right foot
on the drive home.
It did not end well. I was turning and panicked as a car in the opposing lane
was approaching, so in my attempt to quickly break, I floored the car forward instead. I’m so glad
that pole was there because I would have killed the pedestrians walking behind
it... or at the very least, completely annihilated some cucumbers.
Needless to say, I never
drove with my right foot solo again. I always drive with both feet, the left
hovering over the break, and the right over accelerate. The worst case scenario
is that I hit both pedals at the same time, which will still cause the car to grind
to a halt. I think more people should drive this way, as it is significantly
safer. The only aftermath remaining with this incident is the fact that the hood
appears to be brand new in comparison to the rest of the car, and upon closer inspection, one would notice that the Toyota
logo is zip-tied to the grill.
Lastly, in the photograph of
the driveway, my car is parked in the grass. We have the largest C shaped
driveway in the neighborhood, and I never park on that concrete slate – even though
there’s ample space.
For example, if you park in
the grass long enough, the weeds will die and delicate white flowers will take
that opportunity to bloom. They prefer the colder weather, so during the autumn
months it’s like a sheet of snow in that one very specific area I choose to
park my car. As close as I could ever get to experiencing snow in Florida, that
is.
Outside of my home, I will
park like a maniac. This isn’t directly by choice, but because everyone else in
the parking lot chooses to park like a maniac. Sometimes, I squeeze the car in
between so close to the other cars, that I quite literally have to open and
crawl out of the trunk, because the drivers and passenger doors will not open
in such a tight space.
I have received some pretty aggressively
handwritten windshield letters because of this. This is fine with me, as long as
my Corolla gets me from A to B, and occasionally to C, I’ll take any implications
of owning this car, as direct compliments of our character together.
*Auntcle: An Aunt/Uncle human hybrid.
